As I was saying before my little break. I have this friend who had a tear during the birth of her cute little girl and was stitched back properly according to her; the problem for her is that she no longer feels perfect. Her vagina now has a scar and it’s not looking the same. You would think the problem must be that her husband is complaining or has said something that is causing the insecurity.

I asked if her husband has ever complained or made any comment about it she said no, but she believes that he doesn’t want her to feel bad so he is silent about it. This is her own reason for being totally unwilling when it comes to sex.

Then there is this writer, who was not even interested, had lost interest completely, has no vagina issues because of the C-section done, has a very understanding man; but for her, sex was a big NO. It became a real struggle and marriage began to shake. Sometimes she tries to please her man but alas, it is with no joy.

 

After several months of these struggles, the writer was sure of a major problem that made her look for answers from everywhere possible. She eventually gathered that she has been suffering from low libido (reduced sex drive) which is another fallback of iron deficiency after childbirth. It was a chronic one she suffered and it was really bad.

What I am saying in essence is that sex can actually be very enjoyable if we get rid of the things that weigh us down. They are temporary; with patience and appropriate attitude, it will pass too.

Stress from less sleep is a culprit that new mothers have to cope with; but it can be better when we rest a little more although, it is not easy because there are always several things to be done. More sleep helps us relax well, while less sleep can make us cranky and affect our responses so that even harmless hugs can become war if care is not taken.

 

Insecurity is also another killer. When women begin to think that their husbands see them as ugly because of the scar that childbirth has brought upon them, the fat they put on during the pregnancy and so many other issues; they will definitely lose any interest that there is. Sex thrives with confidence, I hope I can get a witness.

What about breastfeeding. Science has helped us to know that the hormones responsible for milk production are not very generous when it comes to sex. It can make the vagina dry and stiff which means pain for the woman. Sex can be a lot better when we use things that can relieve the dryness that is going on down there.

 

Talking to our partners about our fears and not assuming that they should know what we are going through, or that they don’t like our bodies anymore can be very helpful. It will help us to know what is going on in their minds, and in turn let them know how to help us cope with the temporary phase better.  

Partners please understand that being patient and assuring us about our physique is a huge confidence booster after childbirth. It is the major key amongst other keys to helping us regain interest in sex.

 

Women please, let’s visit our gynecologists to rule out conditions like iron deficiency and a host of other childbirth complications in other to get treatment where necessary. Professional advice cannot be exchanged for anything.

Still on this sex matter, an unknown individual said that some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about and I agree. In other words, it is unexplainable.

Let’s take care