A perfect day to play 2.

The question however is, how does a husband begin to complain about the looks of his woman when he is aware of the many changes that her body has gone through especially after babies.

 

I understand how women add so much weight at different stages of life and how hard it can be to lose it. How that some women actually go on diet and stomach binding processes to get rid of the fat but alas, it yields little or no result.  In fact, I know a few women that add weight while trying to diet.

Women will agree with me that our struggles are real but we must find a resolve.

Sometimes, the problem is in the way we carry ourselves. Most times, we just let ourselves go and throw caution to the wind as soon as we get married and begin to have children. We begin with bogus outfits, unkempt hair, unattractive house wears and the list is very long. I can’t really blame us though; the new chores and the children as become added responsibility to the existing ones before marriage.

I don’t want to come across as insensitive because I still have my share of struggles too.

 

Some women even add like ten more years to their age after marriage, they now carry themselves like old women and sometimes I wonder what the problem is. When I was getting married, I was told that my dressing has to change. I must stop putting on fitted clothes, I should get used to iro and buba (wrapper and blouse) and of course my choice of footwear and so on. The list is a handful. I don’t know what I did with the advice; I still try to keep my style.

Then there is the case of some women losing their self-confidence because they feel less beautiful because of the change that has happened to their bodies. When the time to relax and enjoy some intimacy comes, they get uncomfortable with their spouses and the whole thing becomes awkward. Like I said before, losing weight can be hard: it can even take time and we must not give up because keeping fit and maintaining a youthful and healthy stature is key: but we must not lose ourselves in that process. Research has shown that men find confidence attractive and that low self-esteem negatively affect any relationship.

 

Low self-esteem is ugly; it puts any woman in an unattractive light in the eyes of her spouse.

I am saying that the way look, dress up, show up and even carry ourselves as women matter a lot to our spouses. While in the process of getting fit and remaining so: a happy, self-assured and confident woman can be present.

It is very important that women don’t remain and wallow in self-pity when they should be taking charge, stepping up and getting rid of the problem.

 

Attitude is everything. Let us employ the right attitude to everything.

Another 50kobo of mine.